Come and gather round you people now and listen to me yak,

All you doctors and you lawyers and you folks who push the crack,

And you folks who push the buttons and you folks who push the mops,

Come listen while I tell you how I really like the cops!

Oh I really like the cops, I think they're really cool,

I like them in my neighborhood, I like them in my school,

I think the cops are wonderful. I think the cops are nice.

And I like to have a broken jaw and carry a pack of ice.

I really like the cops. I think they're really neat.

I like it when they take my face and smash it in the street,

And then they drag me to a station, and they lock me in a room,

And then I love it when they rape me up the anus with a broom.

I really like the cops, you know, they make me sing

You know, my favourite movie is the tape of Rodney King.

So I really get pissed off whenever somebody like you

Suggests we should submit the cops the citizen’s review.

I really like the cops...

I really like the cops, so glad that they’re around

To hustle me and ticket me for sitting on the ground

I really like the cops, I’d be so sad if they were gone

There’s something about their uniform that always turns me on.

Oh I really like the cops, I think the cops are cool,

I like them in my neighborhood, I like them in my school,

I think the cops are wonderful. I think the cops are nice.

And I like to have a broken jaw and carry a pack of ice.

I really like the cops, they always get me high;

I hope that I get taken into custody and die.

And I hope that every fact that's in the coroner's report

Gets chucked into a dumpster so it won't be heard in court.

I really like the cops, I love those boys in the blue.

And when I hear you making statements that I think are quite obscene,

Like how the cops are nasty, and like how the cops are mean,

I think it's about some time that you should get yourself some class

And help your local officer by kicking your own ass!

So gather round you people now and listen to me yak,

All you doctors and you lawyers and you folks who push the crack,

And all the folks who push the buttons and you folks who push the mops,

Come listen while I tell you how I really like the cops!